Mostly I remember after, the weird rituals,
the way the house changed, and I couldn't
be in it alone. How I'd think of reasons to be
anywhere else, except that you have to sleep,
right? Rape, having the same root as rapture,
a pool to get lost in, like infatuation or hope,
no Leda and the Swan instant, but something
more prolonged and even though my mind
chanted, You are not here, emergency Buddhism
of a sort, I was there and would be for a long time.